The importance of being on the same page with money in a relationship

Alex Ellie
8 min readJun 1

My husband Alex and I have been together for 11 years and married for almost 7 years.

I’m not going to say we’ve got a perfect relationship 100% of the time. But I do know that there’s nothing fundamentally wrong. I don’t have any concerns, and neither does Alex (as far as I know!).

This especially extends to our finances and approach to money, which is often the biggest topic of concern for many couples.

From my perspective, it makes total sense that finances would be the underlying source of most conflict.

Think about it.

Most people spend the majority of their lives working to earn money. They do it to pay bills for those non-negotiable commitments and obligations. They do it to pay for the nice-to-haves that make the rest of life’s day-to-day drudgery a little more tolerable, just so they can roll out of bed the next day to do it all over and over again.

So if things are out of sync financially, it makes sense that it causes stress, anxiety, anger or resentment.

Do you care about money? I bet you do. (I know that I do!)

I bet your partner does as well.

But the two of you might not agree with what to do with it. Or you might not be on the same page about when, where or how to spend it (or alternatively save it). And if that’s the case, money-related matters can very quickly and easily lead to a less-than-harmonious relationship.

This is the first in three blog posts about finances and relationships, talking about some of the things my husband and I feel have helped us to be successful financially and as a couple, as well as some of the things we’ve seen go wrong in other people’s relationships.

You need to be on the same page about what you want in life.

What’s at stake: your relationship

Imagine you work your butt off all day, and then your partner “wastes” (at least, in your mind) some — or even all — of the money you worked hard and long to earned.

Alex Ellie

We’re Alex & Ellie, a 30-something married couple who started HisHerMoneyGuide to highlight how you can join us and reach financial independence sooner.